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How to avoid making your children anxious

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How to avoid making your children anxious
Written by madishthestylebar

Anxiety doesn’t just affect adults. From an early age, children can be subject to this mental disorder. While some show physical symptoms such as upset stomachs, high heart rate, or increased temper tantrums, others withdraw into themselves and stop participating in activities with their peers.

For a large part, the source of their anxiety lies within those around them. Although they don’t always feel it, some parents unwittingly create discomfort in their children. For the HuffPost, experts present the most anxiety-provoking parenting approaches.

Start by encouraging avoidance. When a toddler feels a sense of discomfort, he will try to avoid what makes him uncomfortable. If many parents tend to go in his direction, the best thing is to cultivate his resilience and provide him with the support necessary to face his fears.

For example, if your child is anxious about leaving you to go to school, this feeling may manifest as a fear of taking the bus. Then, he will certainly ask you to drive him there, or even to accompany him to the door of his class, in the hope that this will make him less anxious. “Parents unwittingly perpetuate the cycle of anxiety by helping their little one avoid what he fears. This can be perceived as an easy solution, since it allows you to dodge big anger. But the child will not learn to develop healthy and necessary coping skills.explains Laura Linn Knight, parenting coach.

Being too bossy doesn’t help bring serenity either. This form of education tends to cause anxiety, especially when too rigid rules are put in place in the home. Psychologist Ann-Louise Lockhart even observes that “Children brought up in such conditions do not feel safe when they make mistakes, since the people around them correct them excessively”.

Don’t convey your fears

Another anxiety-provoking parental approach: refusing to face one’s own discomfort. Just as you must put on your oxygen mask before helping others, you must learn to manage your anxiety to support your children in theirs. Being real sponges, the youngest listen to our words and pay particular attention to our body language. Therefore, if the parents themselves are struggling with anxiety, managing their stress is essential in order not to communicate it.

Of course, achieving perfect parenthood is not the goal. The goal is therefore not to repress negative emotions in front of your children, but rather to discuss them together to teach them how to tame them. “Your offspring will be happy to know they’re not alone in their anxiety. It also lets her see that she doesn’t have to suffer in silence, but that you are there to help her.”says Khadijah Booth Watkins, associate director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds.

Finally, if children are warned too regularly, anxiety may affect them too. Constantly saying phrases such as “be careful, you will fall” creates hesitation in them. If it can be useful in small doses, it is however not necessary to repeat it systematically. Instead, pay attention to the frequency of your warnings and explain why a particular action is dangerous.



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